Tattered Wings

Darkest Days

2005-06-17T11:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday at 5:30pm Meeka my Guinea pig died. I was really devastated since I really loved her and never expected she would die. Also by the fact that none of the animals I took care of lived long... Is it just pure bad luck or something else? It's like death is always on my hands...

Whats more devastating is that I could do nothing for her. I saw she was in pain and yet I could do nothing. I watched her slowly die. I wouldn't believe it... I talked to her for a few minutes but no response then I noticed that the life was gone from her eyes. There was nothing... just a black void of nothingness...

Then I began thinking why is it that all those I take care of are taken away from me.

I've been asking the same question the whole day yesterday....

Why?

Guinea Pigs!!!! n_n kawaii - desu!

2005-05-16T16:49:00.000+08:00

Alright! Last Friday was the day where a friend of my brotherhad her thesis defense and to it was a very interesting day...

Anyway that friend of my brother's gave us a pair of cute little guinea pigs which by the way has yet to be named XD. Today one of the guinea pigs had a corn stuck to his/her teeth that caused me to panic... I didn't know what to do thinking that pulling it myself out might break his/her teeth ( I don't know which one's the female or the male... :p ) so I panicked and waited for several minutes until he/she was able to take it out by her/himself.... It was a big relief.... It really scared me..... XD I love my guinea pigs and I don't want anything serious happen to then.... (daisuki!!! n_n)

ThE gReAt AdVeNtUrE !

2005-05-12T13:36:00.000+08:00

Hello again! it's been a while since I last updated my blog.... hee hee

Well anyway, I'll start with the things that happend after my last post.

I didn' t get to travel abroad after all... Why? To put it bluntly I failed one subject at school so now I have to take summer classes so naturally the trip was cancelled. I was devastated at first crying and feeling sorry for myself the whole day. Then when I calmed down a little I still felt sorry for myself. Who woudn't especially when your feeling that you've totally let your parents down and that your cousin abroad was excitedly waiting for the day that you would arrive then learning that you wouldn't? I sort of felt that I let everyone down...

Then enrollment came... I thought maybe it wouldn't be too bad after all... it's better than doing nothing in summer right? So I started my summer classes soon afterward and luckily my new professor was better than the one I had last semester. Strict but great nonetheless. Too bad he wouldn't be teaching us next school year since he told us that he rarely teach IT and CS students.

Through all this time my grandparents from Cebu was living with us here in Quezon City since my grandmother wanted to see a doctor here in Manila. After a month my grandparents left for Cebu again though I didn't think it was a good idea since they're very old and wouldn't have anyone in Cebu to take care of them if something happens.

I planned to join a Cosplay competition this summer with my brother and my mom planned to go to Cebu for my grandmother's birthday and asked me if I wan't to go too. Thinking that this could be my last trip to Cebu since I knew that my grandparents are planning on selling their house there, I told my mom yes and scrapped my plan in joining this summers Cosplay Competition. Cosplay Competitions are held every year so it wouldn't be a big loss now wouldn't it?

But then just this week my grandmother fell ill and caught pneumonia and was hospitalized so my mom had to go to Cebu ASAP. So my mom asked me if I could go to Cebu on my own. I was afraid at first since I haven't travelled alone but I knew I had to go there since I'll be missing it for the rest of my life so I said yes.

Then it dawned on me. There is this saying that goes "Everything happens for a reason." Now I truly believed in it. I realized that if I passed that subject then I would be able to travel abroad with my father and brother and not get the chance to go to Cebu one last time. So I guess I failed that subject so I could travel to Cebu and enjoy my time there even for a short while.

Now I'm really excited since I'll be able travel to Cebu and even get the chance to travel alone and get lost in the airport!! :p This would be an adventure! :p

Last Week of 1st Year College

2005-03-15T11:07:00.000+08:00

Oh my.... this will be our last week of school and then summer break starts! yay! but, Finals has to come first heheheh a week of late night studying once again! oh well...

Still I'm excited this coming summer since this will be my first time travelling abroad! yippeee!!

We'll be visiting my grandmother, aunt, and cousins at Los Angeles for 2 weeks then another 2 weeks with my sister at New York. A total of one month! hmmm..... I'm alreadt thinking of what to wear and what to bring hee hee

I'm so excited!!!

P.S. actually I've been exposed recently to one of my classmates who has chicken pox, and ever since I keep on praying that I wouldn't get 'cause I really want to travel abroad with my family

XD

God always has bigger plans for us

2005-01-29T22:12:00.000+08:00

this is what I always keep telling myself...

in all this time that I have been troubled and stressed out all the times that everything went bad... I always said to myself that God never wanted us to suffer... that he has bigger plans for us and all the bad things that are happening to me are just part of the process of completing that big plan....

and somehow... it came as a comfort to me...

and made me realize that being depressed all the time never helped at all...

move on...

... and try to see things differently ....

What is your purpose in life?

2004-12-03T16:50:00.000+08:00

During our theology class, this was one of the questions posted by my professor... he asked us if we have asked ourselves this question. Upon hearing that, I thought to myself... Yeah... I have asked myself that question. Several times actually... The only answer I was able to come up with... was silence...

I strongly believe that all the people in this world has a purpose in life... and those who believe that they don't have a purpose in life just haven't found it yet.

One may never now his purpose in life just by asking himself the question but through their experiences will they come to realize it. Not immediately though, but in time... It may come as a surprise... or maybe not... but it will surely come. All we have to do is be aware and keep our minds open.

Another question that was asked by our professor was what makes us happy? That made me stop and think. I haven't asked myself that question before. Maybe a few times but I never answered it seriously. That question really stumped me. What does make me truly happy? Up to now I haven't got a clue... Rest assured that it's not material things... The only thing I know is that it's something deep... Maybe it's something that I have been searching for up to now but haven't found it yet....

School Days..... I am mentally tired... XD

2004-11-18T18:57:00.000+08:00

My days at school for the past few weeks have been really tiresome. There's lots of work to do.... and more work seems to keep on coming.... Will there be no end to this madness??? I guess not... It's school after all.... School is logically equivalent to madness, stress, and days with lack of sleep.

College they say is a lot like highschool.... actually it is highschool all over again although with harder subjects to discuss and tougher teachers to work with. For days I have had lack of sleep and it is taking it's toll on me... although luckily for me I'm still able to fight the drowsiness I'm feeling during class.... :p with the excemption during our Rizal Course class today... I fell asleep halfway through.... I guess I really am tired..... XD

My favorite subjects so far for this second sem are Math, ICS [lab and lec] and Philippine History. I really like our professors there... they make me want to listen more....

I hope that this sem I could study harder and have higher grades than last sem.... Although I did pass.... it's still not enough for me... Maybe I have a high standard for myself but to me it's really not...

besides.... you can achieve anything you want and all you have to do is try hard, and be patient..... try and try until you succeed I like to say.... :D

Nothing New

2004-10-24T06:48:00.000+08:00

Nothin new or exciting happend today... how could there be? I woke up at 12pm XD Gosh... I so love sleeping ... :p hee hee I also love to dream whether I'm awake or not... xp tonight I'll be going out to my friends dinner/birthday celebration..... It was her birthday last Oct 20 hee hee
well anyway... nothing much to write right now.... since nothing happened anyway XD

Blog Skins!

2004-10-21T08:31:00.000+08:00

alright! I created my first blog skin today! I feel great! heh heh I'm so happy...

as usual I sat in front of my computer the whole day and I haven't finished cleaning my room... XD

What a Tiring Day

2004-10-20T08:35:00.000+08:00

wooohooo!!!! YES! I passed! I passed! heh heh

We just had our clearance yesterday for the first semester and I passed all my courses! I'm so happy! I will never forget my experience a few minutes before I got my clearance report... XD I was so nervous my skin went cold and my heart was trying to get out of my chest!
When I got my clearance... Oh! what a relief! my legs literally felt like water... I was so happy and giddy with joy! >.<

Today was a tiring day. We had to drop of our grandparents from Cebu who stayed here in Manila for a week to have a check up... then we had to go to Makati to fix up my scholarship for PRYCE Plans... after that we went to the Ortigas Home Depot to pick up some tiles for my grandmother's home that's being constructed beside our house... I can't say how tired I am today.....

>.<

An Uneventful Day

2004-10-16T08:23:00.000+08:00

today was a very uneventful day... except of course being able to talk to my bestfriend even if it was through chat ... :D and also some of my other classmates hee hee I just stayed in front of my computer for hours.... *sigh* I should really finish cleaning up my room now... it's like a jungle in there... [ should I say that??? 0_o ]